Bleach: Cross: 05 Fifth Division in the Red
by Eugena
Summary: The Fifth Division runs into financial difficulty and Hinamori discovers The Bachelorette. Rated M for implied themes. This is a spoof of The Bachelorette, Bleach style. You have been warned.
1. Present for Taicho

Bleach © Tite Kubo. Bleach: Cross characters and elements, including the "past life backstory" © Eugena.

A/N: Rated M for implied themes. This is a spoof of The Bachelorette, Bleach style. You have been warned.

Timeline: Occurs after the "After DiamondDust" story, sometime shortly after Momo Hinamori wakes up from her coma.

Opening Theme: Momoiro no Hana (Hinamori Character Song)

Ending Theme: Every Heart by BoA

**Fifth Division in the Red**

**A Bleach: Cross Story**

**By Eugena**

Rated: M

**Chapter One: Present for Taicho**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FIVE BARRACKS - THORNE TAICHO'S QUARTERS**

Momo Hinamori, Fukutaicho of the Fifth Division looked over the numbers again. And again. Grimacing, she crumpled an edge of the paper, ready to toss the paper away.

"Taicho's going to be upset," she grumbled.

Behind her, Daichi Thorne Takeya, Third Seat of the Fifth Division, stopped shelving the books he had been archiving. He turned to her. "What's the matter, Fukutaicho?"

Hinamori stood, a defeated look on her face, "I'm such a failure."

"Oh, come on," he said, "Thorne Taicho will solve it."

"Look at it for yourself," she said.

Takeya walked over to the taicho's desk and stared at the paper. His reading skills still were not up to par.

"Of course," Hinamori said," "I don't have to tell her. Maybe we could solve this ourselves."

Takeya continued to stare at the paper. Finally, he began to understand. "We're _this_ far in debt?"

"If only I had woken up sooner," said Hinamori. "If only I had been here when Taicho first—." She could not bring herself to say "died."

"She won't know," Takeya said, "but you should tell her."

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD TWELVE - RESEARCH SECTION**

Rin brought Thorne Taicho a cup of tea. She took it and held it, looking suspiciously at it. She didn't trust Kurotsuchi Taicho. He'd do anything for his research.

Rin went back to fool with the controls of a modified television. "This is from one of your country's shows," he said proudly. It was not every day one could give a taicho a unique gift.

Thorne turned as she sensed Nemu Kurotsuchi's reiatsu.

Nemu smiled at her. "Please enjoy your tea, _Shinnouhi_, Mayuri-sama would not harm you."

Thorne could never tell Nemu to call her Taicho. Thorne's title as Shinnouhi (Imperial Princess) was much higher than her rank as a taicho. Mayuri had taught Nemu to always be formal and address others by their title and name. Since there was no other Shinnouhi, Nemu thought there was no need to address her by name. Nemu never called her Taicho except in the company of those who did not know that Thorne was the Crown Prince's betrothed.

As for Mayuri himself, Thorne did not doubt he did not harm her because of royal mandate. If he harmed her, Squad Zero would kill him. She did not doubt Crown Prince's Shiroyuki's resolve to kill anyone that harmed her. Yet, even she knew that the portal between Soul Society and the House of the King worked less these days. Until Aizen and his troops were dead, she could not depend on the Royal Family's protection.

She lifted the tea to her lips and drank, knowing that she had laid her life in Mayuri Kurotsuchi's hands.

"Is it to your liking, Shinnouhi?" Mayuri asked.

Thorne kept calm, always wishing to freak out over his appearance. "_Hai._ Arigato, Kurotsuchi Taicho." Sometimes, she did not need Kurotsuchi's translator to speak their language.

"It's ready, Rin announced. It's from a program ABC."

"_Maybe Dancing with the Stars,_" Thorne thought.

She took one look at the obnoxious announcer and knew she was wrong.

"_Welcome Back to Season Sixteen of the Bachelorette."_

"Anything but this," she muttered under her breath.

The Bachelorette, pressed her face into one of the bachelor's, smothering him with kisses. After only a few moments, the camera cut away.

"What happened?" Rin asked.

"Ask someone when you're older," Thorne answered.

Rin turned a few dials and the picture returned, perhaps from several episodes later. The Bachelorette's face streamed with tears. She bawled loudly.

"Taicho!" Hinamori called out, rushing in. "Taicho!"

"I'm okay, Momo. It's someone on the television," Thorne assured her.

Hinamori came in and watched the rest of the scene with the others.

The Bachelorette turned square to the camera, what an actor would otherwise call an aside. Yet this was reality television, so what was she thinking?

Between disgustingly obvious fake tears, she lamented to the audience: "My one true love! Out of everyone I would pick him! And he has to go home to take care of his dying sister—aunt—someone—oh who the (bleep) cares? What about me? He has some (bleep) (bleep) priorities!"

Another camera picks up on the leaving bachelor. "It's not like I had a chance anyway. After all, she was always (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) the other men. She should take care of herself. I think you execs need to pay for an HIV test for everyone."

Rin and Hinamori looked dumbfounded at the screen. Mayuri turned the show off. He was going to say something, then Thorne interrupted: "Sensitive ears."

"Thank you, Rin," Thorne said. "This was very thoughtful of you."

"You didn't like it," he said.

"This was a bad season for it. This year's contestant was out to do anything to get an Emmy. There are better seasons." _Yet, feel free to skip all of them._

Rin fell at the taicho's feet. "Forgive me, Taicho. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Nonsense," she said, helping him up. "All you need is a few more adjustments and you'll get a good one: _Dancing with the Stars_."

"Taicho, what kind of show was that?" Hinamori asked. "And what's the Emmy?"

"An Emmy is an award given to actors. Most television shows are fiction, with actors playing characters. That one, however, was what is called reality television. It means a person is themselves on television."

"But she was—?"

"She was over-acting. She wanted to be famous. So do most of those guys on the show. But she is the only one who is guaranteed to get paid."

"_Paid?_" Hinamori asked.

"Yes, the studio gives her money."

"_Money,_" thought Hinamori, "_I wonder if?_"

"How does it work?" Hinamori asked.

"She goes out on dates with all the guys and each week she kicks one of them off the show. Finally, she chooses one in the end. Supposedly, they are supposed to get married."

"_Married?_"

"That usually doesn't happen."

**oOo**

_**Preview of the Next Chapter:**_

_Hinamori finally gets an idea on how to raise money for the squad, but what will this mean for Thorne?_

_Who is a candidate to be a bachelor? Vote now._


	2. Taicho to Taicho

Disclaimers: see chapter one.

Opening Theme: Momoiro no Hana (Hinamori Character Song)

Ending Theme: Every Heart by BoA

**Fifth Division in the Red**

**A Bleach: Cross Story**

**By Eugena**

**Chapter Two: Taicho to Taicho**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD TWELVE - KUROTSUCHI TAICHO'S QUARTERS**

After the television viewing, Thorne asked Kurotsuchi to talk. After assuring Hinamori she would soon return, Thorne entered Kurotsuchi's room—something few did. Nemu waited outside.

Thorne looked around. Everything was in its proper place and the room seemed uncharacteristically barren.

"You changed things for me?" she asked.

"I merely wished to make you comfortable. I anticipated this meeting."

"Hmm?"

"What better place to find solace than a taicho's room? You are troubled, Shinnouhi."

She sat down in an oddly plush couch. It seemed out of place for him. "Please don't call me Shinnouhi. It just reminds me that I am Shiroyuki's property."

"As you wish, Princess." He paused, noting the grimace remaining on her face. "But that's not any better. It still does not hide the truth."

"Fine. Shinnouhi." She stood, face-to-face with him. "I need a mod soul. I can't keep living like this. I get too tired, and I don't have Kail inside me anymore."

Kail, Ichigo's hollow form, had lived inside of her since she first came to Soul Society. She had briefly been the Fourth Seat of Squad Eleven. Then Hitsugaya won a duel against Zaraki for her to become the Third Seat of Squad Ten. Then she faced Aizen and for the first time, drew forth Yukihime's bankai, a resurrection of her former soul. Aizen had nearly finished the key to enter the House of the King. In her bankai form, she fought Aizen and broke the key. Although she had not completely destroyed the key, she had bought the Shinigami time with her life.

Since the King of Soul Society had resurrected her, she still remained part human. This remained her one weakness.

"I am still working on it, Shinnouhi. I cannot have it fail and harm you."

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – STREETS OF THE SEIREITEI**

Momo Hinamori had wondered what made her taicho uncomfortable with the show. If it came from her home country of America, isn't that how many Americans acted? Still, she could not compare her taicho with those commoners. Still, her thoughts returned to her taicho's words.

It seemed like a good idea. The more she thought about it, the more she could imagine getting the Fifth Division out of debt. But what would Taicho say?

"Hinamori-chan!" Rangiku Matsumto called to her.

"Ah, Rangi-san," she said.

Matsumoto caught up with her. "Why were you over at Squad Twelve?"

"I went to see Thorne Taicho."

"Thorne Taicho went there?" Rangiku asked in belief.

"Yes. Rin had a present for her. A television show from her own country." Hinamori sighed.

"And what sort was it?"

"Well, it was very strange. This woman dated a lot of men and the television company paid for it."

"I wished I lived in America," Rangiku sighed.

"Rangi-san, do you think we could do something like that in our squad to raise money?"

"Money?"

"Yeah." Hinamori looked down. "We're really in debt. Taicho doesn't know."

"Well," she laughed and gave Hinamori a slap on the back. "If your taicho goes on the dates, you'll have no problem making money. It would be a good fund raiser."

"Matsumoto," Toshiro Hitsugaya called out. "You're not finished with your paperwork!"

"Ah," Rangiku sighed, "if only my taicho was as good as yours."

"I heard that!" Hitsugaya snapped as he walked up to him. "Just what are you two talking about?"

"Taicho," Rangiku said, "Hinamori-chan wants to set up her taicho on dates to raise money for the squad."

Hinamori blushed. "I didn't really say that."

Hitsugaya turned red. He tried to sound angry, but the two women could sense his embarrassment. "What do you mean?" he stammered.

"Taicho's country has a show called _The Bachelorette_," Hinamori explained. "The Bachelorette gets money to go on dates with men and she kicks them off the show. The last one left is the winner."

"What do they win?" he asked.

"They get married."

Hitsugaya's mouth dropped open. He stared at the two women.

"Perfect, right, Taicho?" Matsumoto asked. "Now you can finally settle it out with Zaraki."

"Matusmoto!"

"Come on, Hinamori. Let's get Renji and Kira in on this. Hitsugaya Taicho and Zaraki Taicho can't be the only ones."

"Bye, Shiro-chan," Hinamori said as she and Matsumoto flash stepped away.

Hyorinmaru laughed inside of Hitsugaya. "Can't avoid it now, Toshiro. They'll have the whole Seireitei after Hime-sama's hand."

"Shut up," he muttered.

"Heineko thought it was great, too."

"I said shut up!" He could do paperwork by himself. No, forget that, he would bring this up to Yamamoto Sou Taicho. Surely he wouldn't allow this.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD ELEVEN BARRACKS**

Outside the Eleventh Division, Yachiru chased Ikkaku. Zaraki found it amusing and no one would complain to him about Yachiru.

"What's bothering you, Taicho?" Yumichika asked.

Normally no one would ask such a question, but it was obvious it was Shirahime Thorne. No one had spoken a work about Zaraki's broken engagement with her. They had planned to get married, only to have Squad Zero kidnap her for an entire month. The Royal Family would not have her marrying anyone but the Crown Prince.

"Hime-san appeared much weaker when she got back," Yumichka said. "I wonder what they did to her?"

"She would not even tell Yachiru. And now she has refused any treatment from Unohana Taicho."

"Taicho, would you kill the Prince?"

"I will kill anyone who harms her. Royalty or not."

That was the motto of the Eleventh Squad. After all, no one wanted to see their taicho angry or their fukutaicho sad. Everyone lived through that once before. No one thought they could live through Yachiru's grief again. And Yumichka liked Shirahime. Yet another secret to keep from Zaraki.

Yachiru finally landed on top of Ikkaku's head and started beating on him.

"_Prepare for battle, Shinnou."_

The rush of reiatsu stunned most in the squad, except for the top members: Zaraki, Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichka.

Zaraki became angrier at Squad Zero once he heard those words. Unlike most shinigami, Thorne did not have to recite either a shikai or bankai release phrase. Not even for her second zanpaku-to, Shinnou.

A small snow white dragon with Shirahime's blue eyes hovered above Yachiru. Ikakku stopped running.

Yachiru leaped for the dragon. "Shinnou!" She caught it between her arms in an awkward hug and bounced to the ground.

"Yachiru!" Shirahime snapped at her. "Stop harassing Ikkaku."

Yaichiru stood up and bowed to her. "Hai, Oka-sama."

Ikkaku looked on in disbelief. Though Yachiru loved her mother very much, she had never been so formal before. Then again, Thorne had never appeared that angry at her before.

Thorne breathed heavily. Blood dripped down her left arm and onto Shinnou's hilt. Her vision blurred and she swayed. Zaraki flash stepped forward and caught her before she fell.

"Damn those Squad Zero Shinigami!" He looked across her face, noting the sweat mixed with blood. "If they ever come here again, you all have my permission to kill them."

Ikkaku and Yumichka stood up and saluted, "Hai, Zaraki Taicho."

Finally the others could move as Thorne's reiatsu had faded. The Shinnou zanpaku-to clattered to the ground.

The spirit Shinnou roared and stood next to the zanpaku-to.

Yachiru's eyes had formed tears. She had always liked the color of blood, but never on her mother.

"Yachiru, I'm taking her to Unohana. Bring Shinnou . . .," he paused, ". . . and Shinnou."

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD SIX BARRACKS**

Renji Abari, Fukutaicho of Squad Six, stood opposite the fourteenth seated officer. The man stood, ready to fall in exhaustion. Renji had only released Zabimaru's shikai, and the officer had trouble holding his own in the duel.

"Hey, Renji!" Matsumoto called out. She and Momo flash-stepped and appeared a few feet away from them.

"I think this is enough for today," Renji said to the officer.

"Thank you, sir," he said and bowed to him.

"Rangiku, Momo, what are you doing here?"

"Well," said Rangiku with a large smile, "we just had the greatest idea! Tell him, Momo."

Momo flushed in embarrassment. "Thorne Taicho—," she paused, "Thorne Taicho—," she began to think of her taicho dating Renji. "That is . . . Thorne Taicho—." She blushed more.

"What?" he asked, wondering if he wanted to know after all.

"Thorne Taicho should go on some dates as a fund raiser for the squad," Rangiku finished for her.

"Dates?" his mouth hung open in disbelief. Yeah, he had thought about dating her himself—in his dreams, and _only_ in his dreams.

"Yes! It's common in this thing called 'reality television' in Thorne's home country." Rangiku waited for a few moments, letting it sink in. "Well, Renji? What do you think? You would want to compete, right?"

Renji got flustered. He blushed and sputtered out his words: "Compete . . . to date . . . Thorne . . . Taicho?"

Momo still thought about Renji dating Thorne. Was this a good idea?

"I think you should ask Shinnouhi first," said Kuchiki Taicho from the entrance of the barracks building. "And explain to me how this would not become a call service."

**oOo**

_**Preview of the Next Chapter:**_

_Momo and company explain reality show dating to Kuchiki. Unohana orders that the Shinnouhi, Thorne Taicho, get some R & R. Will Momo decide this contest would be good relaxation for her taicho?_

_Hitsugaya seeks an audience with the Sou Taicho to put an end to this mess. Will he get there before Momo has set up his beloved Shirahime on many dates? Will Yamamoto be a bachelor?_

_Vote now for your candidates._


	3. Rest and Relaxation, But This?

Disclaimers: see chapter one.

Opening Theme: Momoiro no Hana (Hinamori Character Song)

Ending Theme: Every Heart by BoA

**Fifth Division in the Red**

**A Bleach: Cross Story**

**By Eugena**

**Chapter Three: Rest and Relaxation, But This?**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FOUR BARRACKS**

Zaraki could tell Thorne was regaining consciousness by the reiatsu leaking from her body. It was strong for the small amount bleeding from her. He had never before felt her power at this level. _Something had definitely gone wrong_.

Some of the lower-ranking shinigami of Squad Four fainted as she and Zaraki came closer. Unohana Taicho came quickly to meet them. Summoning her zanpaku-to, Unohana placed Thorne inside it.

"What happened?" she asked Zaraki.

"It's _their_ fault. Squad Zero." He told her quickly of when she scolded Yachiru and how even then her reiatsu seemed wild. Then the blood.

"It's the Royal Family's fault," Unohana concluded.

She was about to go on, but rumbling from inside Minazuki tore her away from her thoughts.

"Reiatsu," she said. "Out of control."

She removed Thorne from Minazuki and began enchanting a binding spell around her. She had to drain Thorne of her reiatsu and then heal her.

Yachiru and Shinnou arrived. Seeing his shinigami master bound, Shinnou roared and flew towards her. He began to rip away the bindings. As he continued to tear away at them, his snout reached out and touched her arm. Reiatsu flooded the area again, but soon sank into Shinnou.

"That should be impossible," Unohana murmered.

Zaraki began to hear a voice in his head, a young boy's. He heard it grating in his ears like the speech of a dragon. "Yachiru," he called, "summon the bankai."

Yachiru drew the Shinnou zanpaku-to and shouted, "Go to war, Shinnou!"

Shinnou shined brightly then faded into snow white dragon wings that wrapped around Thorne. The reiatsu flood had finally ended.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD SIX BARRACKS**

Momo had just finished explaining _The Bachelorette_ as she understood it. Granted, she didn't understand all of the references to getting blood tests and the camera cutting off at certain points, but she thought the blood tests meant blood type tests. After all, it was common for them to match people on that basis.

By now, Rangiku and Renji had turned many shades of red. They, unlike Momo, had understood what Momo had not.

Kuchiki Taicho kept a stern gaze on them, as if to say they should not let Momo know what she did not understand.

"I see," he said, preventing Momo's further ramblings. "And why is this a good idea for your Taicho?"

This time, Momo blushed. She bent her head low. "Kuchiki Taicho. . .The Fifth Squad is . . . ."

"In need of a serious break," Rangiku interjected. Sure, it was a bad idea to lie to the Sixth Squad Taicho, but Thorne Taicho and the others _did_ need a break. Even if the main reason was the squad needed money.

Kuchiki said nothing but remained in contemplation.

Suddenly, they felt the flood of Thorne's reiatsu coming from the Fourth Squad Barracks.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FOUR BARRACKS – THORNE'S ROOM**

Kuchiki rushed in first to the room. He caught a glimpse of hideous scars encompassing Thorne's naked flesh. Unohana turned around quickly to block his view.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Renji, Rangiku, and Momo arrived next.

"_Taicho!_" Momo cried.

"Give Unohana some space," Zaraki said in a firm voice from behind her. Rangiku could see him standing close to Thorne.

"Where's Yachiru?" Rangiku asked, worried at what he might say.

"With Takeya," he said. "Take care of them for me."

Kuchiki turned away and the others left with him. Momo did not want to leave at first, but Ragiku's firm grasp on her arm led her away.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FOUR BARRACKS – HANATARO YAMADA'S ROOM**

The last place the four expected to find Yachiru and her adopted brother was in Hanataro Yamada's room. Then again, they did not expect to see the formidable Fukutaicho of Squad Eleven crying in her brother's arms.

Hanataro jumped slightly in surprise as they came in.

Kuchiki pinned Hanataro with his gaze. "What happened?"

"I don't know," he stuttered, "but she released so much reiatsu that we all froze except Unohana Taicho."

"_They_ did it," Daichi Takeya accused in a firm voice. "That Royal Shinigami Squad. They hurt _Hime-sama_."

Daichi usually referred to her as Taicho, sometimes as Shinnouhi, never as mother, but _Hime-sama_ only when he remembered his days as an orphan spirit in the Rukongai. He gritted his teeth and touched the handle of his zanpaku-to, Aoi Raiko.

Hanataro set two tea cups down by Daichi and Yachiru.

"Onee-san," Daichi said to Yachiru as he offered one of the cups to her.

"Dai-kun." Her sobs seemed to quiet down.

Daichi kissed her forehead.

For a moment, Momo flushed with embarrassment. Although Daichi appeared older, Yachiru insisted that he was the younger of the two. So why had it bothered her that he kissed Yachiru?

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD ONE BARRACKS**

Yamamoto Sou Taicho was among the first to feel Shirahime's reiatsu leak, but at Hitsugaya's sudden appearance, he declined to go to the Fourth Squad barracks. Hitsugaya had turned around with a shocked expression, nearly the moment he had arrived before Yamamoto. The Sou Taicho placed his hand on his shoulder to prevent him from leaving.

"She's probably just angry," Yamamto said, able to read extreme anger from the reiatsu.

Hitsugaya calmed little and nearly spat his words, "Yeah, I'm sure it was Momo's idea."

Yamamoto looked puzzled. Sure, when Hinamori had just awoken, her harsh treatment of the new taicho would have been enough to strip her of her rank, but even then the royal taicho did not punish her. So, what could be so bad now?

"Hinamori's idea?" Yamamoto prompted.

"She wants Shirahime to go out on a lot of dates. Some idea from a tv show from America." He blushed. He called her Shirahime. _Damn_. He kept telling himself to refer to her as "Thorne." He tried to always remain formal around the Sou Taicho. But he had called Hinamori "Momo" even then. Calling Hinamori by her first name never stirred up the same sort of feelings he felt with Thorne. Yet every time someone called her by her proper title, Shinnouhi, it reminded him of how far out of his reach she was.

"Well I think this is something for –." Before he could say "her to decide," he felt the violent reiatsu change as Shinnou absorbed Shirahime's reiatsu.

He flash stepped to the Fourth Division. Hitsugaya followed close behind.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FOUR BARRACKS – OUTSIDE THORNE'S ROOM**

When the pair arrived, the Fourth Division Fukutaicho pointed them to Thorne's room. When they arrived, Yamamoto caught the distraught look in Unohana's eyes and grunted. Zaraki reluctantly took the cue and left, blocking Hitsugaya's way in.

Closing the door behind him, Zaraki quickly looked Hitsugaya over. The stern look on Hitsugaya's face told Zaraki without question what he had denied accepting for months: Hitsugaya was in love with Shirahime. Shiroyuki owned Shirahime. The Royal family had done _this_ to her. Now this child of a taicho had dared to stake some type of claim on her. How dare any of them. Why should everyone else have a piece of the woman he loved? Even Zaraki had a limit.

"You can't protect her. You're only a kid. Sure, you're a taicho but she's _royalty_." He emphasized his last word. Most of his speech was meant for himself, but he finally wanted to tell Hitsugaya off. He had to get off the steam, the blame somewhere. Someone had to put the pint-sized taicho in his place. He was a _child_, younger than Hinamori, the same age as Daichi, her son, and not too much older than Yachiru, her daughter. He paused, smiling to himself. Yachiru always called herself the older sister. She was in fact older than Daichi but he appeared older, Hitsugaya's age.

"You're not good enough," Zaraki announced firmly.

Hitsugaya was unaccustomed to rage. When Aizen hurt Hinamori, he was very angry. When she spoke of her beloved Aizen Taicho, he was angry in a different way. But those days had passed. Now, he knew she hated Aizen. Not for betraying her or the squad, not even for nearly killing her, but for killing once and still pursuing the taicho she truly adored. But what right did Hitsugaya have to the Shinnouhi? Why was he so angry now, when he could only relate to Momo's adoration of her?

Zaraki wasn't really saying he wasn't good enough to protect her. What he meant was he wasn't good enough to love her, to be with her, and that gave him a new meaning of angry, a new depth to rage.

Ragiku's jokes came back to him: maybe it was now down to him and Zaraki.

"I _love_ her." His own words shocked him. Had he ever said it to her? He couldn't remember right then. In this world there was only Zaraki and himself. He could never best Zaraki in combat, but maybe for this fight.

"I have a _daughter_ to check on," Zaraki's comment interrupted his thoughts, "and her son as well. Would you be ready for that, Hitsugaya? A family?"

His comments stunned Hitsugaya into silence, and he decided return to his barracks, stopping only once to ask Isane to tell him when Shirahime awoke.

**oOo**

**SOUL SOCIETY – SQUAD FOUR BARRACKS – THORNE'S ROOM**

Unohana knew what needed to be fixed was not really the reiatsu that still leaked, or the scars that would take a long time to heal, even with all of her methods, but the heart. The emotional and psychological damage was more than anyone should have to bear. Neither she nor Yamamoto understood exactly what was done, but they could speculate.

"I can't believe it. Even for them," Yamamoto said finally.

"The only thing we can do is try to seal off their access," Unohana said. "But you know we can't."

"I can try," he said. "I once bested a small Squad Zero training squad. They did offer me the chance to join them, but I didn't want to leave my students behind."

Shirahime stirred, slowly coming back around. "I'm naked," she said flatly.

"We had to tend to your wounds. I can help you dress in a bit," Unohana promised.

"You should rest," Yamamoto said. "Leave your worries to us."

"Ha," she laughed weakly, "and here I was having a dream I was on _The Bachelorette_. Stupid tv."

Yamamoto took Unohana by the arm and whispered, "How about therapy dating? Hinamori fukutaicho's idea."

Unohana raised her brows in surprise. "I suppose . . . yes . . . ." Her brows knitted further, aware she was out of some loop she would no doubt hear endlessly about in the next coming weeks. "Just no sex," she added.

"Of course not," he interjected. "Some _American_ thing. We can have her explain it later."

He turned back to Shirahime. "Do feel better. We will keep watch."

As he left, Shirahime felt the room spinning. "Did he say 'sex'?"

Unohana reddened. "Expect," she blurted quickly. "He didn't know what to expect on what you thought of Hinamori's idea."

Shirahime looked at her, confused. As she drifted off she tried to ask her about what idea, but that could wait.

**oOo**

_**Preview of the Next Chapter:**_

_Who knew that dating was supposed to be relaxing? Thorne drifts off to unconsciousness and continues her nightmare of being a _Bachelorette_ only to find it is soon to be a reality._

_Hitsugaya has admitted his feelings, only to find he's endorsed the dating. Will he win out over Zaraki or will someone new enter the picture?_

_Meanwhile, Yamamoto encourages Hinamori to go through with the idea. Only one problem remains: is there _supposed_ to be sex on this show?_

_Who is a candidate to be a bachelor? Vote now._


End file.
